What Process of Learning Grief does the Poet Experience in “Learning Grief”? 

Answer

Elucidate the poet’s grief in the poem “Learning Grief”.

Or, What process of learning grief does the poet experience? 

“Learnings Grief” is a poem by 2013 Bangla Academy Literary Award winner Bangladeshi poet and translator Kaiser Haq (1950-Present). The poem presents a deep, psychological journey through the process of learning and understanding grief. The poet takes us through personal moments of loss. In the process, he explores how grief evolves from childhood confusion to mature acceptance. The poem skillfully presents that grief is not merely about feeling sadness but about growing through it. Grief is about learning to control and understand this powerful emotion. The poet goes through the following process to experience learning grief.

Initial Encounter with Death: In the poem, the poet’s first experience of grief comes when his grandmother is on her deathbed. At just eight years old, he feels a sense of duty as he is asked to give her a glass of water. After giving the glass of water, he simply returns to sleep without fully understanding the situation.

She drank

I went back to sleep

This initial encounter reflects a child’s unawareness, where death is just an unusual occurrence rather than an emotional loss.

Personal Loss and Emotional Impact: The second major encounter with grief in the poem happens when the poet’s younger sister passes away due to pneumonia. Unlike his grandmother’s death, this loss has a profound impact on him. The poet describes how he becomes somber and withdrawn. He feels that he will never laugh or smile again.

I’ll never laugh or smile, I’ll never

Feel joy again.

This phase represents the beginning of a deeper, personal understanding of grief. The “tasteless day” reflects his sorrow and detachment. At this stage, grief is a heavy, all-encompassing emotion that isolates him.

Symbolism of the Clock: A powerful symbol in the poem is the “clock” of the poet’s life, which stops during his periods of mourning. The halted clock represents the emotional pause caused by grief. As he processes his sister’s death, the clock eventually “ticks again.” It symbolizes his gradual healing and return to everyday life. This ticking signifies the poet’s growth as he begins to understand that life moves on even after loss. This understanding is a big step toward learning grief.

Relearning Happiness: The poet’s realization that he can laugh and smile once more marks a significant step in learning grief. He recalls how, unexpectedly, “a joke burst from [his] lips,” a sign that he is ready to accept happiness alongside the memory of his loss. The poet says,

I felt the clock of my life begin

To tick again as a joke

Burst from my lips.

This moment represents his emotional maturity. It shows that grief does not erase joy but coexists with it.

Grief as a Life Lesson: By the poem’s end, the poet concludes that he has “learned grief.” This learning is a process of emotional growth, where grief becomes less of a burden and more of an understood, controlled feeling. The poet realizes that grief is a natural part of life. Accepting the grief allows us to experience joy again.

In conclusion, Kaiser Haq’s “Learning Grief” shows that learning grief is a journey from confusion to acceptance. Through personal experiences and the passage of time, the poet gains the wisdom to understand grief. This poem teaches us that through grief, we grow, and through growth, we can find happiness again.